Thursday, March 6, 2008
the mind and the man
so i just got in a bit of a tiff with my mom. she wants me to unload the dish washer, its a rather simple request, one in which i can easily fullfill. there is one problem, the man in my mind and the real me see things difrently. in my mind i am the most gracious, giving, kind, gentle person, i am also the most overworked person on the planet. the first part is the ideal part of who i am, the second is a false perception of myself. my dad tells me perception is reality, but i disigree and the reason why is myself, i persivee myself to be very hard working and very overworked, this could not be farther from the truth, the truth is i am one of the laziest people on this planet. for example today i watched the karate kid one two and four on youtube. then i did the two chores that i was suposed to do on monday. the two chores took about 20 minutes. who i think i am and who i am are two diffrent people. i love who i think i am, but as i continue to get to know who i really i am i realize more and more i dont really like that person. at the begining of highschool i had a large groop of friends. as the four years went on it got smaller and smaller, now im more often alone than when im not. did i become more and more of a jerk as time went on, or did i stay at a certain maturity level while everyone passed me by? change is hard and usualy if something either is hard or seems hard i tend to avoid it, however, i think i need to change who i am on the outside to fit with who i am on the inside. maby this is the transformation that only Christ can bring about. i dont know all i know is this, that life is a journey and i will continue on it.