Thursday, March 6, 2008

the mind and the man

so i just got in a bit of a tiff with my mom. she wants me to unload the dish washer, its a rather simple request, one in which i can easily fullfill. there is one problem, the man in my mind and the real me see things difrently. in my mind i am the most gracious, giving, kind, gentle person, i am also the most overworked person on the planet. the first part is the ideal part of who i am, the second is a false perception of myself. my dad tells me perception is reality, but i disigree and the reason why is myself, i persivee myself to be very hard working and very overworked, this could not be farther from the truth, the truth is i am one of the laziest people on this planet. for example today i watched the karate kid one two and four on youtube. then i did the two chores that i was suposed to do on monday. the two chores took about 20 minutes. who i think i am and who i am are two diffrent people. i love who i think i am, but as i continue to get to know who i really i am i realize more and more i dont really like that person. at the begining of highschool i had a large groop of friends. as the four years went on it got smaller and smaller, now im more often alone than when im not. did i become more and more of a jerk as time went on, or did i stay at a certain maturity level while everyone passed me by? change is hard and usualy if something either is hard or seems hard i tend to avoid it, however, i think i need to change who i am on the outside to fit with who i am on the inside. maby this is the transformation that only Christ can bring about. i dont know all i know is this, that life is a journey and i will continue on it.


Anonymous said...

you need to watch Revolver ASAP.
Same concept, mind vs. man, ideal vs. real. it's intense.

Anonymous said...

Psychologists call it the "real self" and the "false self". To realize that you have this split is a huge step towards maturity that many people never make.

For a Christian there is another layer to the whole struggle underneath that real/false struggle. It is the war between the self (both real and false) and the Spirit. When we were created all mankind was created with the image of God and our mode of being was "Innocent". Then we choose to sin and our mode of being became "Fallen". As believers we are in the mode of being that is "Redeemed". This means that we carry within us the image of God (Spirit) and the our sinful self. It is that sinful self that is both real and false.

My friend, Paul put it this way in his blog: "Yes. I'm full of myself—after all, I've spent a long time in sin's prison. What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can't be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God's command is necessary. But I need something more! For if I know the what is right, but still can't keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help!

I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

It happens so regularly that it's predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God's commands, but it's pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge. I've tried everything and nothing helps. I'm at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different."

So what I am thinking is that really, both my ideal self and my real self are sinful at the bottom of it all. What I need is a God self. How do I do that in a practical way? What do you do about that?