Monday, December 15, 2008


i have received 100 dollars for DTS, thank you Brunners, bringing the first $4,210 down to $4,110. am i scared that this is not going to happen considering that i leave in 18 days? yes, yes i am. this is the first real test of faith i guess, am i going to have faith that God is going to provide or am i going to start freaking out? everything in me wants to freak out but i know that, that is not going to help get that money in my account. am i going to emplore you the readers of my blog for help? you better belive it! there really is not anything i can say except, help, and thank you. so there it is.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

cross your fingers

so i sent out my letters, maybe you got one and thats how you stumbled on to this obscure corner of the internet. i am not going to lie to you, ive had my doubts about this happening but i am confident that God and all of you will help make this happen.

in other news. paulie shore in "a goofy movie" probly one of my favorite charecters of all time.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

now the work

its official i got in. finally i will have a real journey i am going to travel the world. i think i am getting ahead of myself let me back up. a few months ago i started to apply for a missionary school in kona Hawaii, the school is 6 months long with a two to three month outreach portion to one or more of the following; Afghanistan Pakistan Tajikistan or turkey. what does this mean for my faithful readers and the ones who will soon join the ranks of the alex graves army of readers more posts. it means now i have the great opportunity to do some serious work in gaining support and you all have the pleasure of reading about it. for the sake of accountability i will let you in on the goals for the next two months.

one gain 10,302 dollars for my school
two finish the 10 remaining pieces of literature of the 13 i started
three have two final shows
four enjoy life and don't die from stress
five continue to work out
six get a passport

the rest of my post will be about these six things then on the first i am going to fly to Hawaii and the post will be about what God is doing in my life

Monday, October 13, 2008

why being super lonely can be sometimes be super awesome

i want to thank John Dorian for the title of this little episode. i dont think that being super lonely is ever going to be awesome, no instead it makes me depresed and then i get to flirt with the idea of developing a drinking problem, one of the few genetic weakness of my freeman clan. no being alone is the worst thing for a man.
i think adam was alone for a while, when he was naming the animals i think it was him and God, or maybe it was just him naming all those animals. he had a purpose and a job that kept him going, looking for all those crazy creatures. but i think at the end of the day when he found a nice place to lay down to sleep, he felt the way i do at the end of the day, "i'm the only one here, i wish i had someone to share this with."
love might be a lie, a trick that the media and shakespeare have been trying to sell us, or maybe its just not in the cards for me. everytime i get close to a relationship it quickly goes sour or like a ship in the bermuda triangle disaperes. is it me or is it them why cant i find the love thats in song of songs cause i am looking and you know what? its like looking for a needle in a haystack, but some one already found the needle and i am left looking for something that is not there, something that might not have ever been there.

Monday, August 4, 2008

alex woods

as i sit here and listen to alex woods new album i realize how damn lucky i am to have him as my pianist hopefully we will have one more show be on the look out for alex vs alex

Friday, August 1, 2008

none of my heros had day jobs

none of my heros had day jobs, and if they did those jobs were not emphasised. lets take a look at my current favorit show friends, they all have jobs yes but how often do you see them at these jobs, almost never. is this an excuse for not working no not at all, is it an insight into why i hate the idea of working full time ya maybe

Monday, July 28, 2008


this post is inspired by ben folds song were still fighting it.
Good morning, son.I am a bird
Wearing a brown polyester shirt
You want a coke? Maybe some fries? The roast beef combos only $9.95
Its okay, you dont have to pay
Ive got all the change
Everybody knows It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here
Let me tell you what
The years go on and Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
Good morning, son
In twenty years from now
Maybe well both sit down and have a few beers
And I can tell you bout today
And how I picked you up and everything changed
It was pain
Sunny days and rain I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
It sucks to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Youll try and try and one day youll fly
Away from me
Good morning, son
I am a bird
It was pain
Sunny days and rain
I knew youd feel the same things
Everybody knows
It hurts to grow up
And everybody does
Its so weird to be back here.
Let me tell you what
The years go on and
Were still fighting it, were still fighting it
Oh, were still fighting it, were still fighting it
And youre so much like me
Im sorry
originaly just about the chorus everybody knows its hurt/sucks to grow up but then i read the lyrics and its a song between a father to a son, i wonder if the line "and youre so much like me/ im sorry" resonates for my dad the same way the line it hurts to grow up resonates for me. i have come to the point where i realize i am growing up and my dad is as well. im not married and i dont have kids but i know that when i get married i might be ready for that, but there is no doubt in my mind i will never be ready for kids, i also know that i will have kids. i think when you have kids as they grow up you grow up as a parent. im starting to leave the adolescent stage and enter into manhood slowly draging my heels kicking and screaming, but i'm going none the less. my dad is still in his adolescents of parenthood, i say that cause we are both making the same mistakes we made when i was 17 i still demand that i have my way and ironicly he is making the same demand.
i'm going on DTS (decipleship training school) with YWAM(Youth with a mission) in january the school is in Kona the outreach is to central asia so that could mean reletivly safe countrys like turkey and tajikistan and dangerous places like iraq and afganistan. this disision to follow my heart and my God is unbeliviably important to me, i know that i have a huge finacial burden(9,000) but i'm not too worried about that. the thing that is beginging to stress me out is the lack of support from my parents, my family has been very suportive or they are respectfull enough of my decision and realize i wont heed their warnings enough to know not to try and discourage me. my parents at first were semingly suportive of me then came the fourht of july and the shit hit the fan. my mom started to bring up how i dont have a very active job and my dad brought up my lack of world travel experiance, and lack of ability to spot a terrorist, something that our own armed forces have a certain level of dificulty doing. i know that they were coming from a place of love and caring for me but the overarching theme that i heard was "we dont care what you want to do with your life! we dont care what you feel God wants! we know better then you and we Just Dont Care!" that wasnt their message to me but thats what i heard and thats how it felt. the thing about all of that is this i am just as scared about this whole thing as they are, the huge difference between us is this, i am actualy facing those things that they are scared of. i'm not saying this trying to make you think oh well he's so brave or any of that kind of crap but to say i am going out there, im not safe at home worrying about these abstract things. maybe thats not fair. but i do know this i am tired of doing things without the support of my parents. i need them to be encouraging me to do my best, to work hard, that even though they might worry themselves sick and not be pleased with my destination they will still be proud of my decision to follow God and that they will support me no matter what.
like i said we are both growing up, i seem to need more space from them then usual, i dont know if thats some sort of spiritual warfare thing or new finacal stress that they are inadvertanly taking out on me or what this is all about, but its time for some respect on both sides.
my dad gets mad at me because he says i am argumenetive that i always have to be right, and i know that when he reads the following it will just encourage him in that belief, but the fact of the matter is he wants to be right just as much as i do and when i disigree with him it may be that we are both right from a certain point of veiw. you know obi wan says vader murderd anakin and it seems they are two different people but they are realy the same person. we belive what we belive, and we have strong convictions, he taught me that i should stick to my convictions but how can i do that when he says dont if they go against his. i dont like fighting with my dad but i cant go against my convictions just to stop a fight from happening.
sometimes i feel like i have reached out as much as i can. i cant begin to write about all the times i have asked my dad to go golfing and its got as far as ya that would be fun. i use to try and get him to do stuff i wanted, then i changed it to stuff he liked to do, i have yet to go golfing, but i have gone to the shop.
the shop is ok if you like doing the most menial task and then sitting and doing nothing for an hour. i dont know what i'm getting at, maby its that i want to be seen as more of an adult but my dad continues to see me as a 17 year old and so i live up to that expectation, or maby that expectation is there because i still act like a 17 year old. maby im developmentaly challenged, or i have a severe case of peter pan syndrome. i do know that i am mature enough to know a change is needed.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

summer update

Its been a while but i am back, here's a quick update on the summer

hillsboro was great, my favorite way to start the summer. going down to the suburbs of portland oregon and serving is so perfect.
the next big thing was star wars week for full details you can check out ryan graves blog at and ryan johns blog
here is my take on it we started monday people just started showing up at casa del graves ready for the force and bracing themselves for jar jar and jake lloyd. the best part was when the beautifull britney bollz showed up at the bottom of the steps to the basement and every one there thought is she lost or did star wars week just get a little more epic, the answer it got more epic, what with the opening and closing words by ryan johns to otter pops to me and paul dows constant comentary of the film and triking britney by telling her shes pretty, actualy your Gorgeous brit. saddly i missed my favorite return of the jedi but its evens out cause right now on my right is my cousin charissa and my left is my aunt pam, also at the table is my aunt jane you know what that means?

thats right folks its time for the beach we probly will be leaving here in half an hour for a week of hanging out with the fam seriosly folks this is my all time favorite part of the summer

tim has been living with me this summer and its been a trip, saddly we havnt been able to hang out much he's been busy with school and work. hopefully i will spend more time with him

well it looks like its time to pack up the car and head out of olympia
in ryan Johns words
i love you with all of my heart

Sunday, May 4, 2008

where are you from part ii

When i was a junior in high school my life was devoted to the theater, i can thank sarah for that, origanly it wasnt my love but hers and because she was my love it became mine. my best friends where there, i spent all the time i could inside the eastlake theater either on the stage or working behind it. the people i met and spent time there i still very much hold in high esteem. i dont spend enough time with them, these are people that i have a history. some of these storys end in broken friendships and destroyed relationships, but for the most part they end with no fan fare and no notice, they just quietly faded away. my one worry is that most are to far gone to salvage

Monday, April 7, 2008

the show part II and other things

so the show went very well. in fact i would say it was a succsess. somethings i will do diffrently such as having kaitlin and lilly play alot more music and a whole lot less of me. but over all it was good so be on the look out for some more in the future. now for other things, this weekend was weird. i have a friend who recently moved here from oregon and she is living with her boyfriend, its not a healthy relationship by any means. i encouraged her to not be in it, she enetialy agreed that she should leave him and go back to oregon, then she decided to go back to him. in sociology we learned that for the most part people stay in a relationship because there is not a better option, i guess this helps prove that. old family friends from oregon came up this weekend as well, dan and amy theyre rad, especialy dan, he continualy says talking with me is like talking to a younger version of him, hearing things like that always give me a sense of hope for my future,

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

the show part 1

hopes, dreams, fears, stream of consious poetry.
i guess thats what this post is about, my show is this friday at pine lake covenant church here in sammamish, im really excited i get to play with the best musicians i know and one of my best friends is playing, i hope people like what i have to say

Thursday, March 6, 2008

the mind and the man

so i just got in a bit of a tiff with my mom. she wants me to unload the dish washer, its a rather simple request, one in which i can easily fullfill. there is one problem, the man in my mind and the real me see things difrently. in my mind i am the most gracious, giving, kind, gentle person, i am also the most overworked person on the planet. the first part is the ideal part of who i am, the second is a false perception of myself. my dad tells me perception is reality, but i disigree and the reason why is myself, i persivee myself to be very hard working and very overworked, this could not be farther from the truth, the truth is i am one of the laziest people on this planet. for example today i watched the karate kid one two and four on youtube. then i did the two chores that i was suposed to do on monday. the two chores took about 20 minutes. who i think i am and who i am are two diffrent people. i love who i think i am, but as i continue to get to know who i really i am i realize more and more i dont really like that person. at the begining of highschool i had a large groop of friends. as the four years went on it got smaller and smaller, now im more often alone than when im not. did i become more and more of a jerk as time went on, or did i stay at a certain maturity level while everyone passed me by? change is hard and usualy if something either is hard or seems hard i tend to avoid it, however, i think i need to change who i am on the outside to fit with who i am on the inside. maby this is the transformation that only Christ can bring about. i dont know all i know is this, that life is a journey and i will continue on it.

Monday, March 3, 2008

the world and the web

Christ said when we feed the hungry we feed him, we live busy lives and sometimes it not an option of going down to the local soup kitchen, well i found an answer to that connundrum. at you answer vocab questions and for every question you get right they donate 20 grains of rice to a impovrished country full of starving people. this is a great way to give back to the world because you learn more vocab. i started last night and now im at 6400 grains of rice. i think it would be cool to add totals here on the blog and get over 1 million grains of rice. so lets help get rid of hunger and get smarter at the same time

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


why do i do what i do, what motivates me. i think if i look back at most of my actions, the big ones are motivated because of rather stupid reasons. mostly i am motivated by popularity, and the acquiring of friends. i am thinking about my trip around the world and wondering what exactly my motivations are, i dont think that its to make friendships, but i do think i am partly doing it for the esteem of others, as well as braging rights of "hey i did this". i am not sure if someone can do something out of a pure motivation. i think because we are all basicly selfish deep down everything we do will on some level, no matter how selfless, will be on some level for our own gratification.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

what could have happend and what should happen

i was 15, i didn’t take drivers ed. i rationalized this by saying i couldn’t be bothered i was too busy, i was scared of failing the tests. i was sixteen i took the class, i took the tests, i failed em. i didn’t complete the course, i was ashamed. im a smart kid probably smarter then most kids, but i am an utter fool, i was lazy in school, if i didn’t get the homework at first glance i wouldn’t do it. my grades suffered and subsequently i almost didn’t pass high school. i got my act together and passed just barely, but i passed. i didn’t like school so i took two years off, all my friends went to college. i am stuck behind once again not in school another quarter thrown away because i was lazy and didn’t sign up for class's. its an abysmal feeling knowing that in june 2009 my friends will be beginning their lives and im still struggling like i was when i was 15. i wish i could do it again and relive my life, do well in school not be afraid of rejection or even failure, i wish i knew failure was a part of life and not something to be feared. socrates said "know thy self" and i know i am still afraid of failure. i need to go to school i dont want to be stuck in it till i am 25 but that appears to be the case, my brother is right i need to go to school. a date has been set for the world tour january 2010 and danie collins is officially going. i need to be working to save money but i also need to be in school. my plan is to be in school full time and work full time for the next two years. i think of myself as rather industrious, however i am truly rather lazy. its time to stop acting like the 15 year old alex and start acting like a 21 year old alex.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

epic weekend part ii

one of the things that makes something epic is the scale or the significance of it. for me the reason this was an epic weekend was for both of those reasons, the scale of what i did was enormous. but the significance out ways the scale by far.

i had got into my car at 4:30 and i was on the road heading east to interstate 5 to head north, when i looked at the sky and saw one of the most glorious sunsets i have seen in some time, the clouds were a radiant pink and gold and you could not see the sun, but just the last rays of light before this side of the world was once again plunged into the dark night. as i drove i was speaking to kaitlin about my journey to orcas and what it meant. i had never been so far from home by myself, yes i had been to mexico, hawaii and canada before, and yes they are all much farther from my home then orcas island but, i had always been with other people on those trips. plus i wasn’t leading those expeditions. this, though this was novel, i was in charge of my destiny, if i got lost i would have to find my way with out anyone’s help. this was one of the strangest feelings i have ever felt both the thrill of a new adventure and the fear of the unknown. so i drove for two hours. exit 230 turn left at the light. highway 20.

highway 20
as i drove east on highway 20 i saw on my left what appeared to be giant christmas trees with smoke coming out the tops. it turns out that what i actually saw was an oil refinery, turning alaskan oil into all sorts of petrol products. i arrived in anacortes around 7 stopped at the wallgreens got a cookie and went to the ferry. i could still turn around, but to have gone so far that would be silly, so i got my ticket parked my car got out went in the terminal and waited, the waiting wasn’t so bad i got to catch up on my reading which was nice. for some time i was the only person in the building except for a women who was cleaning, and then this kid walked in. couldn’t have been older then 20, wearing a snow cap low to almost cover his eyes, heavy jacket and an awkwardly shaped backpack. i sat and watched him shiftily mill about the terminal. i think there is a difference between the classical traveler and something else, when i think of the classical traveler he has a hiking pack with a tent and a sleeping bag, water, and certainly does not put off a strange and sketchy vibe. this fellow was not the classical traveler instead he gave off more of a drifter vibe. so i continued to listen to my music and read my book. because of my music i didn’t hear what he said the first time. "pardon?"
"do you drink beer?" the kid said.
once again some underage kid wants me to hook them up with beer, but i do indeed enjoy beer.
"yes." i replied.
"you want to go have some beers?" he inquired
now writing this down it seems like a completely innocuous question with the best of intentions, however, i did not want to have any alcohol in me when i went to visit my friend, that’s not why i said,
"no i’m good, thanks though."
the reason i said no was you should never go against your gut and my gut gave me a bad feeling. after that i waited a bit more and then got on the ferry.

the Ferry
their is something about being resourceful and cunning. on the ferry my cd player, yes i am still rocking it old school with the cd player, a nuisance but i am saving up for a new ipod, my cd player broke. its an older player with no anti shock or even a hold button so this is not too unusual. finally my first challenge whilst traveling, a minor inconvenience if i cant fix it but if i can, a moment of glory. so i popped out my knife and began to fiddle with it. in a about ten minutes i had fixed the problem and i decided to take a sleep. as i lay against my pack i heard the familiar jingle of my phone ring, it was cara, my friend who i was going to see on orcas island. apparently it was snowing and they couldn’t get down to the ferry,
she asked "could you get a ride up to the island market?"
"where's that?"
"just ask anyone they'll know."
"ok, will do"
"is that ok?"
"are you kidding this just adds to the experience, the thrill, the adventure."
"ok well we will see you soon."
"ok bye."
how am i going to get to a place i don’t even know, crap.
simple either ask for a ride or hoof it into town. so i did plan a, ask for a ride. sitting next to me was a couple probably in their late fifties playing some sort of card game.
"are you guys going to orcas?"
"ya." the man with the mustache and graying hair said.
"cool, do you guys live there?"
"no we just come up a lot." his wife said as she laid a card down.
at this point we had arrived at orcas island they were cleaning up their card game and were about to head to their car.
"hey could i ask a favor of you guys? could you give me a ride into town?"
now i realize that i probably seemed like the guy who wanted to have a beer with me, and that might be what prompted their answer, i don’t know. she said "Oh, i'm sorry we don’t give rides to hitch hikers."
"oh. ok"
it looked like i was going to have to get directions and walk, if i got lost no big deal i had my tent, i had my sleeping bag and pad, and i had water. no food but what’s a night without food? i could just set camp really anywhere and be good to go.

the island
i began to walk when a car coming off the ferry stopped next to me, rolled down the window and a head popped out, sandy hair and a friendly face, the kind you know you can trust.
"do you need a ride?"
"ya that be great."
he was stopping traffic and this obviously perturbed the ferry worker so naturally he yelled at us. a few moments later i got into the car. it was a little five seater with several large planks of wood going from the back to the front, in the back seat was a hiking pack and a sleeping bag. he seemed to be a classical traveler.
"i'm alex" i said as i extend my hand.
zach, turned out to know cara's family, was a carpenter and had traveled all around central america, thailand and nepal. he once had dreads as well. we talked about his travels his dreads his carpentry work and music, he was me in a few years. it was snowing. he dropped me off at the island market. i called cara and she said she would be there soon. thinking ahead might be the best thing you can do when you travel that way you are not caught unprepared, so in that vein i had packed my snow pants. i pulled em out and put em on. as i waited i began to wonder if i was even on the right island. it turned out i was when an old white and red bronco drove up through the snowy parking lot, a girl jumped out and said "alex, your ride has arrived." so naturally i got in. in the car was cara, her friend lanie and lanie's dad. snow was falling fast and the road to cara’s was far too treacherous too drive down so we walked. i think having avoided walking for so long at this point i was excited to finally get to trek down to anywhere. once we got to cara's we had some dinner with her parents and then we watched flight of the conchords, our mutual friend erik joined us and then we all fell asleep. the next day we woke up had breakfast and played a weird question game, i’m not going to even joke here i love that game. after the games we walked slash had a snowball fight all the way to erik's. once we got to erik's house we did some sledding some snow surfing and i snow boarded for the first time. i think its because of all my time skate boarding and long boarding but i was awesome at snowboarding. after about an hour of that it was time to go to the ferry so we drove, as we drove i got to see the skate park and hear more about island life. island life is not like life here on the eastside, everyone knows everyone there, its a community not just a city or a town or a neighborhood. i tried toasted almonds in the car and i love them. i got to the ferry said my good byes and boarded my ship to return.

the trip home
i got on the ferry, i like to go out on the deck and watch as we leave shore, its important to me. when i came back in i was surprised but very pleased to see the couple that had said they couldn’t give me a ride was on this ferry, not only that but they were sitting once again right next to me. so i got back without problem to the mainland got in my car and began to drive home.
i was some where outside of mt vernon when it appeared the hood of my car was about to open. i pulled over to the side of the road, and began to investigate, it was not the hood but a large piece of plastic that was attached to it, i need some way of securing this so i took the next exit to a gas station, when i suddenly realized how hungry i was. oddly enough i had come in right next to the burgers so, naturaly i got a burger. the guy who sold it to me was quite the character, a handle bar mustache tattoos all the way up his arms, chubby and glasses. when he gave me my change he flipped the coin off the table top like you would in a drinking game. after purchasing some tape i fixed the car and drove home with out a single problem.

the aftermath
as i sit here and write this story of just one day i realize how much there is to do in this world, so much to see, so many people to meet, and if we dont leave our comfortable places and get out in the world you will never know these people, see these places, or have these experiences.

Monday, January 28, 2008

epic weekend part i

most of my weekends have some sort of adventure, however this was the best so far. because of the amount of stuff that went on this weekend i will break this into two posts. so here we go.

on Friday i went to the Alex woods concert at KTUB. so much about this was amazing from the music to the company. i finally got to hang out once again with Shoshana and Josie, i had not seen them since we all went ice skating back at the beginning of December so that was really enjoyable. after the show Shoshana and i went back to my house and watched flight of the conchords.

so this was the exceptionally busy day, that morning i got up did laundry, i was down to my kilt so you know its time for laundry then. after that i picked up Justin and Jesse and we went to benaroya hall for Play! a video game Symphony. a great concert with music from final fantasy, battle front 1942, and my personal favorites the legend of Zelda and Mario. after the fantastic music i went home and cleaned the basement. upon completing that stupid task i went to UW and met up with Casey Childress and we watch The Fountain, this was really good because Casey had not seen the fountain, check out my43things for a summary of the fountain. oh and we both played guitar.

i have never been so scared at any time as a speaker. i was asked a couple weeks ago to speak at Pine Lake Covenant church, seeing an opportunity to advance as a speaker i said yes. then Sunday arrived and i realized i was about as prepared for this as easy company was when they entered bastogne. i had a poem and a whole lot of fear, so Tamara and i went to the library and we prayed. all that was left was to wait until it was my time to say my schpeel. as i waited i worshiped and a renewed sense of purpose and a peace came over me. pastor Chris got up and opened the service, Tamara introduced me and then i said what i was asked to speak on and read my poem, and sat down. i heard a wonderful message about resting in the Lord and it was over. after the service several people came up to me and thanked me for reading my poem, two people asked for copies. i never really know what to do in those kind of situations, you know, how to act, what to say. i am usually more blown away by the fact that people liked what i had to say. church, done, so i went home and packed for orcas island.

once i finished packing i went to Stuarts birthday party. these are the kind of things i do know what to say at. the reason why is they aren't awkward, your with the people you love and who love you, you can be yourself. i love Stu he is kind of a mentor, but more some one i just look up to, mabey that's the same thing i don't know, i do know i hold him in a lot of esteem. following the party i gassed up the car went home fed Lucy, she's my pet python, and hit the road to orcas island.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

a long journey

i have kissed 7 women in my life, i will not name names but i will say this, its just something i did. only 3 really meant anything. the other 4 were completely out of lust. my life has been a long journey. when i was younger, at the beginning of high school my heart was stayed on the Lord at all times. it stayed that way until the end of high school. now, admittedly i did a couple of things in high school that i am not proud of, but it wasn't until after high school that i entered into the desert of my soul.

i use to be able to hear from God easily and then i entered the desert.

my life has mirrored the life of Siddhartha, from Siddhartha. he started as an aesthetic and then he dived into the worldlier side of life indulging his appetite for anything and everything. the only difference is that i told myself i was still following after God. i wasn't.

i eventually, IE a few weeks ago, turned back to Christ, really what happened is that he loudly called me back.

i am sitting in my study and i am listing to the knifes "heartbeats", every time i hear it i just want to go out and help the world and do the work of the Lord. it's weird i know, but certain songs do that. a lot has changed in the past 3 years all of my friends are juniors in college and I'm stuck as a freshman with one quarter under my belt. i feel inadequate, i feel stuck, i feel left behind. but i know that i am moving forward, slowly i am gaining ground academical and spiritually, i am moving forward. by next fall i will be a sophomore and hopefully i will have moved onto a larger school. but as for now i am still here.

now i know this blog is supposed to be about a lot of things, but mainly its supposed to be about me gearing up to travel the world, so here is an update. today i went out in the woods and tried to start a fire with a bow drill, you know the whole rubbing sticks together to start a fire. extremely hard to do and i have yet to do it but that means i need to persevere and work at it. when i travel i want to be able to survive if the worst case scenario happens and so in that vein i am training myself.

i need to get a steady job and start saving my money for travel. I'm not sure how much i have in the bank but its not enough to travel the world that is for certain.

people have shown alot of interest in coming along and i hope some of them do, especially john.

oh lastly my friend isn't in a coma anymore and just has a broken ankle so that's good

Monday, January 14, 2008


yesterday my friend was supossed to come up from oregon to see me, sometimes life has other plans. she was hit by a drunk driver and now is in a coma. my thoughts are the following on this, firstly if she hadnt been coming to see me or even coming so early then this wouldnt have happend, if she had left a little sooner or even a little later she would be here and this would be an entry of joy and not great sadness. part of me blames myself, another part of me blames the drunk that hit her. what will i do if heaven forbid she never wakes up? what do i do if she dies? how can i go to that funeral and say to her family "hey guess what she was coming to see me im the reason she's DEAD!" why does there have to be so much suffering in this world, a year ago next month another friend of mine lost his dad, and tim said this, "this isnt supposed to happen to us."

in highschool we all had hope for the future we thought we were cynics but we just had dark senses of humor. yes bad things had either happend to us or around us but nothing horrific nothing too tragic. it now appears that the older we get the more and more our lives begin to resemble a greek tragidy, i swear if somebodys girlfriend is actualy their mom i am going to loose it.

the odd thing was after highschool we all went our seperate ways, i had a feeling i wouldnt see some of my closest friends ever again. the thing about that is now they are back in washington, and i still hardly see them. you never know whats going to happen in life wether its geting in a wreck or losing your dad, or just not seeing your friends.

Friday, January 11, 2008


so the other day a family came into my store (Zumiez), 6 year old kid named patrick and he wanted to be a skater, so i started helping them out, build the board custom grip job that took a half hour the whole time his dad is takin pics well here is the after math of it

"After we had cake here, we took Patrick to the skateboard shop called Zumiez in the Redmond Town Center and walked up to the glass doors (patrick’s mouth was already hanging open from taking in the window displays). We walked in and looked around. 7:45 on a rainy Thurs night. No other customers. 3 guys working. One on the short, stocky side with black spiked hair; one thin medium sized guy with short wavy hair, and one guy who was about 6 foot and artsy-complete-with-dreadlocks. They all gave us a warm greeting and said “All right, Dude!” when Patrick told them he wanted a skateboard for his birthday. The artsy guy ended up helping us. Kate’s comment while he was helping us was “mom, he looked scary but he is really nice”. Alex (scary but nice guy) helped us pick out a “deck” aka board (Patrick wanted two things on his deck/board before starting this adventure: something orange and something with a skull on it). So we found a board with a top of orange and with the wood grain showing through and a bottom that is gray with a skull and cross bones. Then Patch picked out the “trucks” (what the wheels are attached to), wheels, and bearings. Usually, there is grip tape (sandpaper stuff that keeps your feet stuck on the board) covering the whole top of the board but Alex said he would do a cut out design for patch so that Patch could still see the orange. It took Alex at least 30 minutes to cut out all the design before then sticking each piece to the board, trimming the extra and filing it down. Then he put on the trucks and let Patrick help put the bearings into the wheels (I’ll forward you the unedited photos) Oh man, it was everything that we could ever have hoped for in a skateboard purchasing adventure. It happens that Alex (scary but nice guy) also is a nanny for twin 3 year old boys AND a huge HP fan, the 3rd book being his favorite. Anyway, fun night all around! "

so today i got a link to the site that the pics are on and read that, i guess the point of this post is that it realy made me feel important to have helped them out, i feel like i am begining to make a divrence in peoples lives

where are you from part I

so i just got home from visiting my friend sarah. she is more then a friend, thats because we dated for two years in highschool. its weird how people from your past make you think about your past, i think back on it and i wonder if i even liked that person i was, or if i even have changed. admitidly i have matured and the most notable physical divrence is that i can grow a full on beard. thinking about who i was and if i liked that person makes me wonder do i like who i am now? i dont know, i think so, but at the same time i feel like God is rebuilding me into who he wants me to be and not who every one else wanted me to be. in high school i really just molded myself to be what those around me wanted me to be, wether it was my dad, my church, my friends, even my tv. in some sense i supose i was who i wanted to be and some of the choices i made then i am very pleased with the results such as my hair. however there are other choices that make me wonder if they were the right ones even to consider, such as breaking up with sarah. i know now that i gave her a completly bull shit answer, "that God wanted us to break up" if that was true she would have heard that as well, really what happend was i felt under appreciated and instead of talking to her about it i bailed. i felt i was puting in all this work and she wasnt doing didily, which in retrospect isnt true. the truth is that i was looking to her to fulfil a need in my heart that she couldnt fulfill, and it was selfish of me to even look to her to do that, now of course i was to immature to know that but still i definitly owe her a long overdue appology, and if she reads befor i nut up and become a man and talk to her i hope she knows this is not it. alot of times people from your past can bring out the worst but somtimes they bring out the best i think this is one of the best kinda times

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

pure or poser

today i bought a sleeping bag and a sleeping pad, i can now techinicly go out into the woods and survive, if i knew how to hunt and identify plants i would be set. i had a thought as i was driving home from REI though, i am either going to turn into a camping loving outdoor obsessed wild mountain man, or im going to be a big poser. i hope im the first but only time will tell. in other news me and my dad are going to watch "Band of Brothers".

im excited to do this with him cause we never spend that much time together and its going to be a good bonding experiance.

Sunday, January 6, 2008


This is my first blog, ever. So I will say the purpose of this blog. the purpose or point of this is to chronicle my journey through life and through this world, the short term is to help me watch my progress as i save money and train to travel the world, and then as i travel it tell how its going. the long term is to talk about life, love, theology, film, beer, basicly anything that interests me. i will try and update it as often as posible at least once a week. so here is to the new year and heres to my travels.