Sunday, February 17, 2008

what could have happend and what should happen

i was 15, i didn’t take drivers ed. i rationalized this by saying i couldn’t be bothered i was too busy, i was scared of failing the tests. i was sixteen i took the class, i took the tests, i failed em. i didn’t complete the course, i was ashamed. im a smart kid probably smarter then most kids, but i am an utter fool, i was lazy in school, if i didn’t get the homework at first glance i wouldn’t do it. my grades suffered and subsequently i almost didn’t pass high school. i got my act together and passed just barely, but i passed. i didn’t like school so i took two years off, all my friends went to college. i am stuck behind once again not in school another quarter thrown away because i was lazy and didn’t sign up for class's. its an abysmal feeling knowing that in june 2009 my friends will be beginning their lives and im still struggling like i was when i was 15. i wish i could do it again and relive my life, do well in school not be afraid of rejection or even failure, i wish i knew failure was a part of life and not something to be feared. socrates said "know thy self" and i know i am still afraid of failure. i need to go to school i dont want to be stuck in it till i am 25 but that appears to be the case, my brother is right i need to go to school. a date has been set for the world tour january 2010 and danie collins is officially going. i need to be working to save money but i also need to be in school. my plan is to be in school full time and work full time for the next two years. i think of myself as rather industrious, however i am truly rather lazy. its time to stop acting like the 15 year old alex and start acting like a 21 year old alex.


Rigor and Cycle said...
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Rigor and Cycle said...

um may I just say SWEET! and that's the 21 year old Tim saying SWEET, not the 15 year old Tim. Yeah, you can still say things like that in college.

On another note, Listen: if nothing else, we are similar in the fact that we floated through high school, regardless of our potential.

Originally, I was going to yammer on about what's worked for me. Instead, I'm going to offer that 'a' word, accountability. Unless you can find like an academic assistant who you will meet with every week.

If you let me I will kick your butt, in what ways I can from down here. I believe you because I am your friend. I fear for you becasue I love you and I am your brother. We'll talk.