what could have happend and what should happen

i was 15, i didn’t take drivers ed. i rationalized this by saying i couldn’t be bothered i was too busy, i was scared of failing the tests. i was sixteen i took the class, i took the tests, i failed em. i didn’t complete the course, i was ashamed. im a smart kid probably smarter then most kids, but i am an utter fool, i was lazy in school, if i didn’t get the homework at first glance i wouldn’t do it. my grades suffered and subsequently i almost didn’t pass high school. i got my act together and passed just barely, but i passed. i didn’t like school so i took two years off, all my friends went to college. i am stuck behind once again not in school another quarter thrown away because i was lazy and didn’t sign up for class's. its an abysmal feeling knowing that in june 2009 my friends will be beginning their lives and im still struggling like i was when i was 15. i wish i could do it again and relive my life, do well in school not be afraid of rejection or even failure, i wish i knew failure was a part of life and not something to be feared. socrates said "know thy self" and i know i am still afraid of failure. i need to go to school i dont want to be stuck in it till i am 25 but that appears to be the case, my brother is right i need to go to school. a date has been set for the world tour january 2010 and danie collins is officially going. i need to be working to save money but i also need to be in school. my plan is to be in school full time and work full time for the next two years. i think of myself as rather industrious, however i am truly rather lazy. its time to stop acting like the 15 year old alex and start acting like a 21 year old alex.