a long journey

i have kissed 7 women in my life, i will not name names but i will say this, its just something i did. only 3 really meant anything. the other 4 were completely out of lust. my life has been a long journey. when i was younger, at the beginning of high school my heart was stayed on the Lord at all times. it stayed that way until the end of high school. now, admittedly i did a couple of things in high school that i am not proud of, but it wasn't until after high school that i entered into the desert of my soul.

i use to be able to hear from God easily and then i entered the desert.

my life has mirrored the life of Siddhartha, from Siddhartha. he started as an aesthetic and then he dived into the worldlier side of life indulging his appetite for anything and everything. the only difference is that i told myself i was still following after God. i wasn't.

i eventually, IE a few weeks ago, turned back to Christ, really what happened is that he loudly called me back.

i am sitting in my study and i am listing to the knifes "heartbeats", every time i hear it i just want to go out and help the world and do the work of the Lord. it's weird i know, but certain songs do that. a lot has changed in the past 3 years all of my friends are juniors in college and I'm stuck as a freshman with one quarter under my belt. i feel inadequate, i feel stuck, i feel left behind. but i know that i am moving forward, slowly i am gaining ground academical and spiritually, i am moving forward. by next fall i will be a sophomore and hopefully i will have moved onto a larger school. but as for now i am still here.

now i know this blog is supposed to be about a lot of things, but mainly its supposed to be about me gearing up to travel the world, so here is an update. today i went out in the woods and tried to start a fire with a bow drill, you know the whole rubbing sticks together to start a fire. extremely hard to do and i have yet to do it but that means i need to persevere and work at it. when i travel i want to be able to survive if the worst case scenario happens and so in that vein i am training myself.

i need to get a steady job and start saving my money for travel. I'm not sure how much i have in the bank but its not enough to travel the world that is for certain.

people have shown alot of interest in coming along and i hope some of them do, especially john.

oh lastly my friend isn't in a coma anymore and just has a broken ankle so that's good